Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize