at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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