By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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