Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
