I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
