I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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