I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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