Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
