do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
