yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
