I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize