i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
