Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i drank out of a bidet.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize