Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
