He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
