The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
