Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
