Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
