Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
