We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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