I just gift wrapped bread.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you made out with another girl for some wings
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
