i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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