i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
