Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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