is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
