The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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