): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize