yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
