tell your sister to shave her snatch
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
