i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize