seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
