i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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