i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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