I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
