You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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