doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Houston, we have a squirter
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
