Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
