She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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