Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
