i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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