Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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