I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
