I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
