yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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