I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
