so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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