do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
