We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
