I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
