...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
