dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
