White coat. Heels.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
