i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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