I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
