so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
