please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
