I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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