The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
