that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
