Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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