i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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