just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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