i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
