Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize