Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
