a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
