His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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