508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
