we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize