so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
