addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
